Not doing

So much of my time is spent trying to decide what to do. 

How’s my brain today? 

How’s my pain today? 

Can I walk without my hip popping out of joint? 

Do I have words to say or an empty brain space to fill? 

How is my mood? 

Do I hate everyone or can I tolerate some conversation? 

Do I have errands?

Do I care that I have errands? 

I’ve spent so much time and effort assessing my status that I just go lay back down. 

And then, when I’m not so tired, I do the whole thing over again. 

Even thinking about doing stuff is exhausting. 

I’m too tired today. 

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