Not doing

So much of my time is spent trying to decide what to do.

How’s my brain today?

How’s my pain today?

Can I walk without my hip popping out of joint?

Do I have words to say or an empty brain space to fill?

How is my mood?

Do I hate everyone or can I tolerate some conversation?

Do I have errands?

Do I care that I have errands?

I’ve spent so much time and effort assessing my status that I just go lay back down.

And then, when I’m not so tired, I do the whole thing over again.

Even thinking about doing stuff is exhausting.

I’m too tired today.

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