There are things I haven’t written about here on my blog because I couldn’t. I couldn’t write about them because I loathe vulnerability in myself. I hate to feel vulnerable and to be perceived that way. In others, of course, I think vulnerability and the capacity for showing it are rare and valuable traits. Just not for me.
The reason I can write about my mental illness is because I do not see it as a vulnerability. It’s just a part of who I am and it doesn’t make me weak. I am strong because of and in spite of my mental illness.
But failing at love time and time again is a vulnerability. A big one. And I’m ashamed of it. So I haven’t written about it much.