On and off again

Saturday I sacrificed my energy, my creativity and my pain free day on the alter of good mom-hood. I took my kids to the pool. Which involved me staying 2 feet from my 3 year old and 5 feet from my 8 year old at all times. It was far more exhausting than I expected. I spent the rest of the day watching mindless TV, too tired to even fidget. 

The last two days have been an odd mix of brain dead and inspired. At dinner last night I stumbled over my words and my sentences were word salad but I wrote a brilliant scene for my screenplay immediately after. I wrote the above paragraph and then spent 5 minutes staring dazedly at the screen, my mind a complete blank. 

I feel like my mind is a dryer, in the cycle where it keeps clothes from getting wrinkled. It spins with brilliant activity and creativity and then suddenly, randomly and without warning, everything stops and is still and lifeless.